We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
