you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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