just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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