oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
