This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize