do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm having to shit out rocks
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
