I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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