it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
