and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
