need another drink. this is the easiest way
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
