"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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