We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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