i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize