Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
