Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
