absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
