Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
