we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
