She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
