# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
