woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
did i just pee glitter
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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