Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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