There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
