either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
