Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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