Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
