Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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