does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
