Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
