I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
