What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize