Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
