dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
This is my gift to your gina
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
