Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize