Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
