i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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