Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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