That's intense
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
