He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
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