There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
