The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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