Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
