I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
