I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
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