He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize