dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
