WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
