We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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