Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
