Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
