PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
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