The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
