If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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