I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
