I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Randomize
