Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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