Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
