I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
