Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
