thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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