I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
